Have You Been Accused?
Nov 26, 2025
Of being too much?
Of being unreasonable?
Emotional?
Irrational?
Unmanageable?
If you’re a woman reading this, my guess is that at some point in your life, you've answered “yes” to pretty much all of the above.
Most women don’t realize this until they’re dealing with burnout, overwhelmed by expectations, numb, or quietly breaking inside; they’ve been DARVO’d for decades.
DARVO
/dahr-voh/
acronym: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender
To respond to an accusation, boundary, or grievance by denying the behavior, attacking the person who raised the concern, and reversing the roles of victim and offender; often used to deflect responsibility, induce confusion, and regain control within interpersonal, familial, or institutional dynamics
DARVO is the tactic abusers use to confuse their victims. And it’s also the blueprint our entire culture hands women from the moment we were stuffed into our first pink onesie.
As women, we’re told our feelings aren’t real - #hormonal
(So we learn to deny our inner worlds.)
As women we’re told we’re dramatic, emotional, needy, irrational - #PMS
(So we attack ourselves before anyone else can.)
And as women we’re told we’re the problem for wanting support, needing rest, craving clarity, desiring pleasure, or setting boundaries.
(So the roles reverse. We become the offender just for being human.)
Being a woman in this world, often means being gaslit by the very structures originally put in place to protect us.
(Have you read your kesuba lately?)
So you’re feeling exhausted because you’ve been conditioned to smile through your pain.
Insecure because you were told “good girls are seen and not heard.”
Disconnected from your body because you had to make yourself small in order to survive.
You’re worried about your daughters because no one ever helped you through this stage.
You feel awkward in your desire because you were led to believe your pleasure was dangerous, wrong, embarrassing, or immodest.
And you think you’re the only one.
Because everyone around you seems fine.
They aren't.
They might just be better at hiding it.
Because we all learned the same survival skills -
- Be agreeable
- Be accommodating
- Be quiet
- Be grateful
- Be nice
And when the above stop working, we blame ourselves.
But it isn’t you.
And I know, because I’ve heard from thousands of women who wish someone would acknowledge their pain.
Who pray to be told they’re not crazy.
And that there’s a way forward.
The world doesn’t need another course on communication or marriage or on being a surrendered wife.
As women, we need a full reset.
A return to the truths we were never told.
How to live in our bodies, how to trust ourselves, how to own our space, how to parent from strength, and how to honor intimacy without shame.
It’s an initiatory experience.
The education you never received.
A reclamation of everything you should have been taught, but weren’t.
Ignite begins Motzei Shabbos, January 10.
My Chanukah gift to you is a significant coupon code available during our limited registration window, December 15-17.
If you’re done living in someone else’s story; a story that distorts you at every turn,
If you’re done being accused; done being DARVO’d,
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Ignite is suitable for women of every age and stage
This course is based on Torah concepts, halacha, and my training as a kallah teacher, in addition to hundreds of hours of specialized schooling in intimacy, sexuality, and relational dynamics.
The content is raw and unfiltered, and your own discretion and feminine wisdom should be applied to determine if this course is for you.
We encourage you to consult with your own Da’as Torah for personalized guidance when it comes to these sensitive subject matters.
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