I Made a New Friend
Jun 30, 2026
Which is lovely.
And annoying, because she could have been in my life two years ago.
For two whole years, a mutual friend has been raving about her.
Forwarding me her emails.
Telling me we would hit it off.
Insisting I needed to reach out.
Telling me to sign up for her list.
And I didn’t.
Obviously, I had very mature reasons.
She wasn’t really my world.
I didn’t need what she had.
I couldn’t afford to be in her orbit.
Her people probably thought my work was airy fairy.
She was smart. Like annoyingly smart. Runs circles around the room smart.
She was successful.
(She wrote better emails than I did.)
And truth is, I don’t need that kind of insecurity in my inbox, thank you very much.
So we weren't friends.
Until last week.
When we got on a fifteen minute Zoom call, that lasted four hours.
And she admitted she had been intimidated by me.
By my emails.
(Our mutual friend had apparently been forwarding our emails to each other for all this time.)
She told me she had been admiring my work from afar.
She said she not so secretly wanted to be my chavrusa.
And then we laughed.
Because there is nothing more comedically tragic than two grown women, both doing meaningful work in the world, both secretly impressed by each other; hiding behind their own very convincing stories.
We wasted two years.
Two years we could have been laughing.
Learning.
Scheming.
Building.
Taking over the world.
But we were busy being intimidated by the lies we told ourselves.
Women do this all the time.
We see another woman’s brilliance and instead of thinking, “Oh good. There she is. One of mine,” we think, “Absolutely not. I'll be hiding here where my control drama is safe and my ego remains unchallenged.”
To our own detriment.
Because what if the woman you're intimidated by isn't your competition?
What if she’s your mirror?
Your medicine.
Your next doorway.
Your chavrusa.
Your friend.
And this is part of what I witness at Emerge every summer.
Yes, there's underwater breathwork.
Yes, there's the pool.
Yes, there's the work I’ve been waxing poetic about for four or five summers now while you've made every very reasonable excuse.
It’s too much money.
It’s more than I deserve to spend on myself.
It’s probably not worth it.
I’ll do it next year.
I’m fine.
And also.
I’m scared.
Scared of what I’ll feel.
Scared of what I’ll know.
Scared of who I’ll become if I stop making myself so small.
Scared of what it would mean to say yes to my life that fully.
Every year, women join me to Emerge and say they wish they had signed up sooner.
I wish that for them.
I wish it for you too.
I wish it for all of us.
The glorious gift of not waiting two years.
Of saying yes when life opens a door.
Of stepping out of our stories.
Of letting ourselves be seen by women who get it.
Women who aren't threatened by your brilliance.
Women who make room for it.
To be held.
In the water.
In the laughter.
In the love and friendship we so often deny ourselves.
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I know. I know. You want to know who my new friend is. You’ll know soon enough. We have some very awesome collabs coming soon, and I can’t wait to loop you in.
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And also, Hypnotherapy Facilitator Training.
I’m doing this really wild thing where I’m choosing not to advertise it.
Because if this training is calling you, you don’t need me to sell it.
So I’m whispering from the postscript.
Reply here and I’ll send you an application.
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Life happens in little bits. Learn to love the little bytes.
