Tra-oo-ma (and Episode 6!)
Sep 17, 2025
When I was 21, I published my second novel, called Invisible Me.
Some of you may have read it. It’s a novel about a girl who is selectively mute, an anxiety disorder characterized by an inability to speak in certain social settings, despite being able to communicate comfortably in other situations.
While typically diagnosed in early childhood, in rare circumstances, selective mutism is sometimes brought about by severe traumatic encounters; as in the case of Dini Braverman, the main character in the novel.
And yet, despite my having spent months in serious and immersive psychological research, in the span of 255 pages, the word “trauma” only appears 4 times in the book.
Compared to last night’s dinner conversation with Dassa, where she used the word six times in four minutes, in describing her homework assignments.
Fifteen years ago, the world “trauma” barely made it into everyday language. Now it’s everywhere. (Even Hebrew. Because there is no Hebrew word for trauma. So they've adopted ours. It's pronounced Tra-oo-ma... and everyone happily be wielding that word around.)
But ubiquity hasn’t helped us.
Because we’re all carrying trauma. What matters isn’t that it happened, what matters is how we meet it.
Trauma doesn’t get the last word. Choice does.
When I planned to record the Vessel episode on trauma, I knew I needed a guest who doesn’t play the victim. Someone who knows how to stand up in the middle of the storm and say: this is not the end of my story; this is the beginning of my choice.
Instead of one guest, I was lucky enough to have two.
This week’s Vessel podcast episode features Eli and Bruchi Ekstein. Both are Vessel alumni, Azamra facilitators, awesome parents, and overall incredible humans who embody so deeply the message of living life by design, not default.
Bruchi is one of those rare students who changes the teacher. She signed up for Vessel, tumbled straight into Ignite, became a certified Azamra facilitator, and is about to begin Vessel for the third time. She’s every teacher’s dream (or nightmare - depending on the kind of teacher you aspire to be) because she asks all the questions. In doing so, she has always forced me to dig deeper, to sharpen what I know, and to discover within myself the teacher I didn't dream I could become.
And then there’s Eli. He's a business consultant who shares openly that at first, he had a hard time watching Bruchi evolve. We all say we want our loved ones to grow, but when it’s right in front of us, it lands differently than we may have expected.
Because when someone closest to us grows, it forces us to choose. Resist, or rise.
Eli chose rise.
Now he’s not only a Vessel alum, he’s also part of the current Azamra cohort, filling the room with the kind of questions I’ve come to expect from the Eksteam (I’m hilarious).
Together, they embody a powerful truth: we aren’t what happened to us; we are who we choose to be in the face of it all.
I know you’re going to love this episode.
And in case you missed it, Vessel is open to both men and women. We even opened a men’s Vessel chat so they get to tap into that resource as well! Couples pay once and both are in. When you watch the Eksteins talk about it, you’ll see; it’s a journey you’re going to want to take together.
None of us get to opt out of doing the hard things. But we do get to decide what kind of story we tell about them.
That's what makes trauma the beginning of choice, not the end of possibility.
If we can laugh, stumble, rise, and keep asking better questions along the way, then even the heaviest heartbreak can become fuel for something real.
So don’t just scroll past this. Come join us. Choose you and the next chapter in your story.
Early registration ends at midnight. Take advantage of discount code VESSEL120 before it goes away.*
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Don't have YouTube?
Episode airs on Spotify and Apple later today, keep an eye out for them.
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I mean you can pay full price when registration reopens October 16, but I can think of much better things to spend the $120 on. Join today and get your bound Heartwork Journal shipped in time for Module 1.
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It’s such a luxury to walk this road with someone who wants to be at our side.
Share this episode with the friend who has been with you through it all. We rarely pause to appreciate those people. Consider this your reminder to send them a text, a shoutout, or maybe even a surprise coffee. A little gratitude creates the Vessel for all the abundance you’ve been praying for!
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