With All I No
Apr 30, 2026
As a new parent, I was conditioned to dread the terrible twos.
The years when my sweet smelling infants turned into sticky, tantruming toddlers. The years when they started experimenting with boundaries, agency, and relational feedback from the world they lived in.
And then came the terrible teens. - Just as dysregulated, dysfunctional, and relational, but with more words, more slamming doors, and emotional exhaustion layered on top of the physical exhaustion.
Which is why sifting through Azamra Breathwork applications brings up a shadow of resistance.
Because saying no has always come with pushback.
The pushback of a toddler tantrum. The pushback of a teen coldly informing me I’m the worst mother to ever have roamed the Earth. The pushback inside of me whispering, “Is this even worth the fight?”
But if 19 years of parenting and an entire adult life teaching has taught me anything, it is this:
Saying yes is meaningless without a no.
Hashem created a binary world. A world of duality. A world where in order for something to be what it is, it also has to clearly know what it isn’t.
To paraphrase (and completely misquote) the great sage Hillel in Pirkei Avos:
“When I am me, I am not you. But if I am not me, and you are not you, then what are we at all, and in fact to each other?”
The toddler and teen years are not just difficult because we have boundaries to set for our kids.
They’re difficult because they require us to set boundaries for ourselves.
To discern our values. Prioritize them. Stand up for them.
We’re educating and reforming ourselves in the process of guiding our children.
Trust me, I know.
I know how easy it is to get lost in the fog of overwhelm. Of just saying yes because our bodies are too exhausted to say no. Of giving in because we can’t do another night of some kid not talking to us.
But I also know the price later exacted for every yes that was not held by a clearly defined no.
Without boundaries, our yeses bleed us dry.
Generosity without limits is irresponsible for the giver and the receiver.
I’m not a perfect parent. But what I’ve learned over time is that just as every yes needs to be tempered with a no, the reverse is also true.
Every no needs to know the yes it’s protecting.
When giving a no, I’ve learned to become conscious of what the yes is in that equation.
I don’t always need to be agreed with, but it helps my own internal process to know that while I’m saying no to one thing, I know and trust deeply the underlying yes I’m committed to.
With the Azamra Breathwork Training just a few weeks away, we have said no to just about half of the incoming applications.
Saying yes would have been easier in the short term.
An instantly full cohort. Making bank. More publicity. More Azamra Breathwork facilitators out in the world.
But in the long term, they weren’t the yes this cohort and space demanded.
This space demands a certain lived maturity. A commitment to values. A high level of personal integrity and responsibility. A readiness to hold clients, and life itself, with dignity.
Having to say no is difficult, but I’ve also learned that no is rarely only a no.
Sometimes it’s a “not yet.”
Sometimes it's “not this, but that.”
And I’ve been very conscious of how gently we help applicants along their stated and intended path.
If Azamra is not the right fit, my team and I still take the time to read through your lengthy application and offer a real recommendation for where we believe your next best step could be.
The responses to these no’s have been fascinating.
They fall into three categories.
- The Ghost... The applicant who doesn’t respond to the rejection.
- The Pushback... This is the response my teens have taught me to dread.
- The Grateful One... Surprisingly, I’ve gotten a few of these, and they are worth their weight in gold.
I’m sure you don’t need me to belabor the first two. If you’re a parent, or anyone who sets boundaries on the regular, you’ve dealt with them.
But the third.
This one is an uncommon gem. And they give me hope for humanity.
…Or at least for my kids.
These are the ones who are dedicated to their growth, not their ego. The ones who are grateful for the time, the support, and the recommendation that actually aligns with where they’re going. The ones who, even when being given a no, are able to receive the greater yes embedded within it.
Everyone applying to Azamra this year has had to battle internally with what they needed to say no to in order for this year to be a yes.
And it has created a very refined and powerful container.
A cohort deeply committed to whatever it takes.
And the ones who didn’t get the yes they were hoping for are still very much a celebrated part of what is making this container possible.
I sincerely appreciate each and every applicant for trusting us with the vulnerability of their hope.
We still have two spots I would love to fill with someone aligned with this space.
If you’re the kind of person who understands that this work requires a lifelong dedication to discernment, reply to this email for your application.
And if that isn’t you, but you know who it might be, please forward this email to them!
With all I No,
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